


Late At Night

by YlvaUllsdotter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 2018 louden swain fanfic fanart project, Angst, Drabble, F/M, Fanfiction, John Winchester - Freeform, Louden Swain - Freeform, Mary Winchester - Freeform, Reunion, SPN - Freeform, Supernatural - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 16:58:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14698479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YlvaUllsdotter/pseuds/YlvaUllsdotter
Summary: Late at night is when Mary lets all her emotions run free, when she lets herself feel all the things she doesn’t tell anyone about.





	Late At Night

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [@mrswhozeewhatsis](http://mrswhozeewhatsis.tumblr.com/)’s 2018 Louden Swain FanFic FanArt Challenge. It’s my second entry, after being asked if I wanted to do another song when my first was done very quickly. This one is inspired by the song Reunion by Louden Swain. It’s my first time writing Mary Winchester, but it was what the song made me think of. I’m not sorry.

Sitting cross-legged on the bed, on her bed, Mary opened the last bottle of whiskey and took a drink. Closing her eyes for a moment, she conjured the memory and when she opened them again, there he was. That little smile pulling his lips up at the corners, his hazel eyes sparkling at her, full of love and affection. 

She took another drink from the bottle before capping it and setting it on the bedside table. When she lay down, so did he. She reached out to touch his face, her fingertips only feeling cool air when she brushed them over his smiling lips. The feeling sends a shiver along her spine and the breath she takes sounds suspiciously like a sob.

“I’m so sorry.” 

Her words are no more than a breath. She means that she is sorry for what she did to him. She is sorry they ever met. Maybe if they had never met, he would still be alive. Sometimes she imagines what his life could have looked like if she had never pulled him into her nightmare of a life. 

He reaches out to her and she takes his hand. It feels like little more than a breath of cool air against her palm. His lips move silently, but she knows the words he says. 

“Be someone, my love. Be you.”

She can hear the deep rumble of his voice, and she misses it so much it hurts. Everyone wants something from her. Her sons want their mother, and she has no idea how to adjust to the fact that her babies are grown men. The resistance fighters want a leader, and she is still reeling from finding out that angels are real. Jack wants a role model, and she has no idea how to tell him that she is not it.

Only John wants nothing from her. And only to John does she want to give everything she has. Everything she is. Except he is not real. So she is forced to go through this strange and unfamiliar world alone, without her rock by her side. The one person who knew her best in the whole world is gone. 

The image of him shimmers as the tears cloud her vision. She turns her face into the pillow so no one will hear her sobs as she cries herself to sleep. Just like she has every night since she was ripped from Heaven and forced to walk the Earth again. 

All she wants is John, but all she can have is this. Each night, when they reunite.


End file.
